Become a Leader,
not a Calling
Yesterday I talked with a primary president that is experiencing the one thing that frustrates all leaders — human nature. You see, there is a teacher in her primary that gently mentioned to her the upcoming birth of her child might be a “good time” to be released from the primary. This primary president responded appropriately and tactfully but knew that every primary teacher has a reason why NOW is a “good time” to be released. This primary president even has reason of her own why now is a “good time” for herself to be released.
As I listened to this frustrated leader talk about this issue in her primary I realized she has the same problem the Elder’s Quorum President is having — he has a bunch of men that have a list of reasons why this past month wasn’t a “good time” to home teach. The bishop has people telling him why now isn’t a “good time” to accept a calling. The problem is human nature and regardless where you are serving as a leader you will face it. In fact, it’s what leadership is! Inspiring, motivating, delegating — all to keep those you lead away from their human nature.
The mistake is made when the leader doesn’t admit that it is human nature and simply releases the individual from the calling hoping the next person called won’t have a human nature problem. The fact is all that serve in the church are human and will bring a bucket full of human nature.
I have more to share about the monster of human nature, but for now I would rather hear your thoughts.
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Jacob’s words are ringing in my ears: O be wise; what can I say more?
When a person hints at—or outright requests—a release, it takes a wise leader to discern the motivation and circumstances behind the action. Is it a classic case of human nature—a sign of typical discomfort that, if endured with faith and optimism, will ultimately lead to a treasured experience of consecrated service?
I believe this is usually the case, and that inspired leaders know how to encourage and counsel such people.
Can anything besides the natural man prompt a person to counsel with a leader about needing a break? I believe the answer is absolutely. Let me explain.
Handbook 2 teaches that releases—just like callings—should occur "by inspiration." It's wonderful to know that when we're called and released, we're receiving the message from one who acts on behalf of the Lord. What could be more encouraging?
But let's face it: bishoprics are often under much more immediate pressure to keep a ward staffed—that is, to "keep the machine running"—than to review and evaluate each individual's personal, familial, professional, and logistical circumstances in relation to the callings they hold. And while bishoprics and auxiliary leaders do their best, it occasionally goes unnoticed when people's lives quietly change in ways that make fulfilling specific callings unusually awkward without grossly neglecting more important priorities.
In these admittedly rare cases, I believe it's not only appropriate, but noble, for a person to counsel with a leader about one's circumstances—as long as it is done prayerfully, in a spirit of humility, having tried all reasonable options to make it work, and with a willingness to receive the leader’s counsel. Then, if the leader feels prompted to release someone based on such an interview, this, to me, is done no less by inspiration than he is jolted awake in the middle of the night with the thought.
I appreciate Handbook 2's counsel that "Church leaders need to be careful not to overwhelm families with too many Church responsibilities." I'm afraid that in our administrative efforts to keep things running, we sometimes don't pay enough attention to this. Has Sister Summercamp been the Young Women's president through four ward divisions while bearing five children? Is Sister Feebly about to have a premature baby while fulfilling her calling as nursery leader during RSV season?
Without a doubt most distressed members with callings simply need a listening ear and a little encouragement. Let us be attentive to the Spirit, however, as the remaining 5% meekly make themselves known.
I agree with everything that has been stated above! How do we turn the tide?
So true
I think when things get a bit hard, so often we think the easy way is is to get a release. An inspired Leader may learn and decern the underlying issues behind this request. and find ways to support and help resolve these issues.
I have to admit over the years in certain callings i hae yearned for a release because im finding it hard or i have let my faith slip a little….
My husband and I recently bought a home that completely needed to be gutted. It was so bad that we could not even move into the home for the first 7 months that we owned it. We did not have the money to pay someone else to fix it so it was up to my husband, and me, and our 4 year old and our 2 year old, and I was 6 months pregnant. Needless to say we were trying to get the house finished as soon as possible. We went to visit what would be our new ward right after we bought the house, and our first Sunday they transferred our records and gave us both big callings within the month. Overwhelmed is an understatement.
To answer your question, yes there are good times to be released, or should I rephrase that, to never be called. We both accepted the callings but it was nothing short of difficult. I am convinced that someone living in the ward boundaries, not about to have a baby any day, with a house they can actually live in, would be a much better candidate.